Teenage love. Seven rules for wise parents

What is love? What are her friendship ratios? For these eternal questions, no one has yet made an exhaustive response. However, undoubtedly, these wonderful feelings play an extremely important role in the formation of a person's personality throughout his life.

In psychology, there is a notion of love as a harmonious combination of sexual need and psychological proximity. In adult loving man The feeling of physical pleasure at sexual proximity and the need for psychological intimacy is usually merged together.

In a teenager, these needs and feelings are divided, which postpones the imprint on his psychology and behavior. The concept of "clean" sublime love in a transitional age is very often not coincided with the concept of sexual proximity.

Many adolescents, especially girls, identify sex intimacy with something "dirty", "shameful". This large role is played by the established traditions and gaps in sex education.

The objects of "love" and "sex" in adolescent most often do not coincide, from here, on the one hand, a simplified attitude towards sexual proximity, and on the other - the pretension of all that concerns the "real" love and the image of an ideal lover (or beloved).

Seating ripening actively affects the formation of the personality and the behavior of the teenager. First, the boy (or a girl) is worried about the deadlines for the emergence of secondary sexual signs. The consciousness is that "I don't have anything like everyone else," very often accompanied by a feeling of anxiety, emotional tension. With age, the criteria of "masculinity" (for boys) and "femininity" (for girls) become more relevant.

It is especially difficult to deal with "masculinity". If girls be weak and "feminine" is considered prestigious, the feminized wonderful boy causes condemnation from peers. Therefore, teenagers raised without a father and in the teams where there are no men (kindergartens, schools), sports sections and informal teenage groups.

It is these groups that are most often helping the boy to establish themselves in the men's role. The overestimated criteria of "masculinity" are often compensated by adolescents underlined aggressiveness, rudeness, delinquency and contribute to the formation of informal asocial groups.

In the past two or three decades, there is a tendency to liberalization of sex morality and earlier in the early sexual life among adolescents. Early sexual maturation predispose to this, all increasing emancipation of adolescents, as well as the wide availability of semi-corporate information on sexual issues.

An important feature of the process of puberty in a transition is its "experimental" character. The emerging sexual need "is investigated" by a teenager, which is accompanied by a large number of transitgnugh sexual deviations, close in shape both to normal and pathology.

The tender psychological aspects of adolescents should also be taken into account. In girls, sexual ripening occurs earlier, which largely determines their attitude to peer boys. At the same time, the erotic feelings of girls appear later and are somewhat different than that of boys. An erotic feeling in a teenage girl is often preceded by the need for psychological proximity to the boy, usually older than her by age.

The boys have sexual maturations later, but leaks more violently. At a certain phase of puberty, boys are characterized by hypersexuality, which, in turn, is accompanied by an increased sexual excitability, an increase in erotic interests and fantasies. It should be noted that the earlier the pubic ripening begins, the more violently it proceeds and the faster it ends and, on the contrary, at the late beginning, sexual maturation is tightened and is characterized by a more sluggish flow.

In contact with

Love can create miracles, especially if she manifested itself in the youth, so real friendship, strong feelings or real first love in adolescence is usually remembered for life. However, sincere and bright feelings can become a strong pain with undivided love. Many of us all our lives are of one question: why in our teenage age we want to love so much? Most likely, love as a feeling during this period is an unconditional adoption of a person with all its pros and cons, as well as features and disadvantages. In adolescence, a person is changing rapidly and does not understand what it happens to him now. It's all about hormonal outbreaks that rebuild the organism of a young man.

Youth is the age when an individual is formed in the teenager, the personality ripens. Changes occur not only in terms of psychological development, as well as many changes in the physical process. Therefore, this time segment is called transition. Most often most problems are insignificant, however, for a teenager they look like global and insoluble. That is why the friendship, strong feelings and the first real love in adolescence mean everything for us, because further in life we \u200b\u200bwill never be so true of anything else, and it is quite normal.
The teenager is really hard, it is almost impossible to control yourself at that age, since he has a shaky psychology, especially if he first felt, such a feeling like love. Each person should experience loose feelings in his life, but if suddenly it happened that love remained undivided, then certain advice would be needed, how to communicate with the teenager.

These tips belong mostly to parents, since they are the closest and observed experience people. Tips can concern those aspects where parents can help their child more accurately understand the situation and deal with it. Agree when the problem is perceived globally, and the teenager thinks that it is insoluble, then the price of this complex situation - The life of your child. This explains the frequent cases of children's suicide. Failed friendship, broken emotions, killed by cruelty and the heartlessness The first love in adolescence can be the causes of suicide.
It is important for parents to realize that, first of all, the teenager does not need to impede. As if the parents did not like their child, no matter how they cared about him, it is not necessary to discourage him or scold for stupid thoughts. Need to talk with a teenager, as with an adult man on equal and give useful advice. You can tell him the story of my love, but only its positive moments, and not negative emotions.
Parents should not impose their thoughts to the teenager. The teenager is so arranged that even if his thoughts are similar with the opinion of the parents, he will do everything exactly to the opposite. If parents have a strong fear for the fate of the child, it is best to contact him to a psychologist. It is important to understand that the world is arranged so that no even the best parent in the world should not and cannot keep the child from their mistakes in life.
Parents should not throw basic jokes about love. It can greatly affect the teenager, so parents in this matter should be gaining more patience. Parents should understand extremely clearly that friendship or any emotions, and, moreover, the first love in adolescence is not just a fault of their child. Everything is very serious for him. All feelings at this moment look the most bright in life. Your child in adolescence is a full-fledged person, personality, and his emotions should be very important for you.
Parents during this period - better approve the choice of a teenager. As if the parents did not like the object of adoration, no need to insist on the break of the relationship. You must be near. Maintain, communicate, talk, take part in the fate of your child. Just identify that the teenager can consult with you, since you are always there and take it a choice. In this situation, you should not punish a teenager for disobedience.

Friendship and first love in adolescence: choice

Girls of adolescence, most often stop their choice on the guys older than themselves. This is due to the fact that the beautiful half of humanity develops faster than guys. Girls stretch to stability and protection. That is why such a difference at the age compensates for quick development.
The first love in adolescence is a feeling that will not return and will never be able to repeat and will remain in the memoirs for the whole life of a girl or a guy. There will be no such burst of hormones anymore, the first experience will never give you a second chance to fix it and make it necessary. Parents want to protect the child from possible, future injuries, but the world works differently. Teenager just need to fill your cones. That is why friendship, various emotions and first love in adolescence are so beautiful. It can be said that this is the gift of the fate of a person.
Parents in this situation should simply accept the choice of their Chad, at least for the fact that you want them to happiness. Even if adults understand that this union is not forever, you need to give teenagers the opportunity to express yourself, enjoy a friend. Do not break the hearts of adolescents in the hearts, which still lives real love.

The content of the article:

The love of adolescents is the first delightful feeling for themselves and an extraordinary test for the strength of their parents. At this age, the younger generation is selected exclusively in rainbow tones and excellent prospects. Consequently, even emotionally immature personalities are sometimes not able to adequately evaluate the love situation in their life. Adults need to help them figure it out, but to make the desired need with maximum wisdom.

Signs of love in adolescence

First of all, this question is interested in parents who have launched children. Love in adolescence adults can be determined by the following features, which indicate the event occurring:

• Leisure. If the child earlier than the lion's share of his free time dedicted to computer games or reading cognitive literature, then no amourous interest has definitely appeared. In the opposite case, the teenager will begin to try with any possibility to leave the native walls in an unknown direction, inventing all sorts of reasons. Alarmed parents will try to stop such a behavior of their adheating offspring, which is definitely not worth doing. As a result, it is elementary to disappear between the child and the adult generation of the family, which will then be difficult to return. It is just necessary to clearly voice your in love with a rope, how much time he can spend out of the house.
• Secret talk on the phone. Recently, a rarely, which teenager does not have its own personal communications. Communication with friends on a mobile phone is not forbidden, so parents calmly treated this fact. Their son or daughter could communicate quite a long time with an invisible interlocutor for various youth topics. At the same time, the children were absolutely not afraid of the probability that parents could hear their conversation about everything and nothing. If adults began to notice that their child, when telephone communication, is trying to retire or enter the street at all, then he evidenced that his first object appeared for his passion.
• Request in increasing pocket money. Many parents often cannot definitely answer the question regarding the supply of a teenager with certain personal funds. Solidal grandmothers and grandfathers in this case do not even think about a similar request from adorable grandson or granddaughter. However, over time, parents begin to understand that they should allocate a reasonable amount of pocket money for the needs of their child. If their adheating offspriest unexpectedly asked an increase to the "salary", then it is not necessary to directly panic about the emergence of fearful addictions outside the native walls. Son who stopped being baby may need extra cash Due to the fact that he needs to be present to his first lady of the heart, small presents and drive her to the movies.
• Change in appearance Teenager. In children, at the time of the emergence of the first romantic feeling, the attitude towards its hairstyle and the wardrobe changes dramatically. A period of obvious changes begins in their appearance, which often frightened by the ever-free parents. It is not necessary to frighten this fact if everything remains as part of a reasonable and aesthetically acceptable. Prohibitions on this occasion will only cause a protest from a son or daughter, which in the future of obedient children can turn into the risks.
• Deterioration of indicators in school. All people in love are in the clouds and pay little attention to what is happening around them. The first romantic feeling is a serious test for a non-finally formed psyche of a teenager. He is not yet ready to concentrate his attention on serious things when his head is clouded with love experiences. As a result, an adhent child begins to pay less time to prepare for training activities, and all its former achievements in this area can deteriorate significantly.
• Changes in adolescents. If your favorite child struck the first Arrow Arrow, then a former predictable teenager can radically change his behavior. Daughter who was interested in fantasy films, begins to suddenly get involved in melodramas about big and bright love. Son after a systematic acquaintance with the innovations of the "Patzanskaya" music and pastime in computer games suddenly ceases to be interested in this. If, with this factor, it begins to twist in the clouds when the sound of a romantic ballad, then this is a faithful sign that it came to him the first sense.
• Finding parents of contraceptives. Usually, a caring mother is grabs behind the heart and begins to absorb calming down in a huge amount, when he finds condoms in his pocket, "kid" condoms. In this case, experts give advice to put the situation on Samotek and silently put a focused contraceptive means in place. However, still it is worth remembering the age-related framework for the beginning of the cognition of this adult side of life. In the family, where the trust and teenager reigns, informed about sex, venereal diseases and unplanned pregnancy, there will be no catastrophe during the adults of the child. In other cases, the situation can reach a critical point, as in the Yugoslav film of the late 80s "it's time to love", when the ignorance of many questions turned into a tragedy.

Attentive parents will never miss the voiced signs of love with their children. Psychologists are advised not to create a panic with a detected event, because all ages are submissive. The child began to ripen, and this inevitable phenomenon must be adequately taken.

If the child first knew that such a tender feeling to the representative of the opposite sex, then nothing terrible in it. However, unhappy love in adolescence is a fairly common phenomenon. It is for this reason that psychologists have developed a number of councils, how to behave a child at the new stage of their mature:

1. Enjoying sometimes youth. This period of personality formation will never happen, therefore, it is grateful to take all that in the future will become invaluable life experience. First love is a wonderful feeling, the memories of which many people keep in their heart for many years.
2. Not dissolve in the person you like. No matter how much the first passion object in life should be remembered about their interests. If Soul Music Like, and the chosen one prefers a heavy rock, then this is not a signal at all in order to radically change its addiction. People prefer communication only with those personalities, which in all situations remain themselves.
3. Ask for help to parents. If first love is an undivided feeling, then it should be as frankly talk to the older generation of the family. It is not necessary to shy your accumulated emotions, because parents with the baggage experience will understand everything and will give a good advice. Sometimes it is easier to even spoke to grandparents, their help and support should also not reject.
4. Do not forget about your future plans. The first feeling is not at all a reason to throw your favorite hobby and forget about learning. If the chosen one answered mutual sympathy, it means that he must respect the developed prospects for the further person liked. If it is not interested in this fact, is it worth continuing to communicate with such an indifferent and selfish person?
5. Don't close. Through unrequited love, many people pass, remembering in the future about this serious life period with a smile. If the object of passion does not correspond to reciprocity, it means that it is necessary to take advantage. New acquaintances, joint leisure with friends will help get rid of gloomy thoughts. Self-causing and care of themselves will only exacerbate the current uneasy situation.
6. Be careful. Only a teenager himself decides when he has become quite an adult for the beginning of sex life. It is not worth a hurrying with it, because often the nervous psyche of the in love for a fully formed body remains in the development and improvement stage. If the chief insists on the sex, then it should be told to him a clear and categorical "no". So, the person liked does not appreciate the feelings and desires of other people and it is worth staying away from it.

Recommendations to parents on behavior with adolescent

It should always be remembered in any situation that adults should be different to their child, and not his overseer. Consequently, they need to think about how to behave at first signs of their children's hobby.

Bans parents when monitoring in love with a teenager

Some overly caring dads and moms consider themselves the docks in matters of education of the younger generation. The advice of psychologists is not a decree, and they make the following mistakes in relation to their children:

• Critic choice. To make fun of the choice of a child from the height of their life experience - unworthy and alogichic occupation by an adult. Parents can categorically not like the object of adoration of their offspring, but this is exclusively the problems of the Dad and Moms themselves. Such behavior will only push the child from herself, because for him his first feeling is sacred and inviolated.
• Depreciation of the sympathy of a teenager. The next extreme of adults is a stubborn reminder to a teenager that he has not yet matured for serious relationships. Ideally, such parents want to return their adheating child to play back into the sandbox, because they see in it exclusively kid. The main argument of family dictators in such ignore the feelings of the Son or daughter is the phrases "Get first the passport" and "Finish first school (lyceum)." The most faithful argument will be the argument of an adult by type "That in our time about studying was thought, and not about any nonsense."
• Prohibition of communication with chosen. One of the most imperative ways to eradicate the love of the child is the voiced method of impact. At the same time, the trust of the native creature is very easy, and it is almost impossible to change the situation in its favor. The prohibition will further spur the stubborn to secret meetings that may very much endure.
• Search for teenager. If the child has grown, then this is not at all the reason to the parents turn into a professional shedding. Control their children must necessarily ensure that the family does not start the era of permissiveness. However, some unnecessary self-confident adults consider the norm to reread the respiration to the offspring in social networks, gut his phone and room in search of a compromising. Any mature man with indignation would have taken to this fact, but we should not forget that the teenager has the right to his personal space.

Note! Adult errors first of all negatively affect the further fate of their offspring. It is impossible to make your favorite child happy forcibly, demanding from him to act on the behavior model created by the parents. Such behavior will at best end with a protest from a teenager, and at worst - neurosis and even attempt to suicide.

Correct actions of parents in relation to adolescence

If parents want to preserve friendly relations with their grown children, they should listen to the advice of psychologists about the rules of conduct:

1. Acquaintance with the chosen one son or daughter. No one in this case talks about the need to organize family-offs. The dinner will also be inappropriate, because in the near future it is not going to marry lovers children. The best way out of the current situation will be an invitation to a house to tea drinking, during which with maximum tactfulness should explore the chosen one.
2. Acquaintance with the nearest child's environment. Wise parents always know who is spending their leisure them. Teenagers are quite secretive individuals, but with a competent analysis of their behavior, you can easily learn about the hands of a teenager. Psychologists advise you to organize a party in the house about a significant event and offer your son or daughter to call them friends. However, it is not worth the peeing over the guests, creating only awkward situation. With correct behavior and maximum tactfulness, it is possible to easily determine who has become friends of a teenager, and even calculate his secret passion.
3. Frank conversation about the elect. If someone liked someone seriously, it means that he hooked it in him some kind of character or behavior manner. In this case, you can play spies, carefully learning about the reason for choosing a teenager. As a result, there may be such a situation that parents will come to the horror of the verbal characteristics of the passion and worship object appeared in the life of their child. Having gathered all his will in a fist, adults should be abstained by caustic comments in relation to the described selected son or daughter.
4. Permission of the right to error. Many people do not just learn from their misses and reckless behavior, but also manage to step on the same rake in the future. Consequently, you should not require a teenager wise decisions in amur affairs. It is still morally not ready for deep analysis of relations between opposite sex. However, only by means of its own stuffed cones, it may begin by the time of emotional maturity when communicating with people liked.
5. Nostalgia for the first love of parents. It's time to talk to my child about what was many years ago before his appearance. No notations and teachings should tell him about his first feelings, and what they ended. Children are sharply feeling when adults are trusted and reveal at the same time. A teenager will appreciate such frankness from Pope or Mom and will further consult with them about his personal life.
6. Increase child self-assessment. It is necessary to do this not at the expense of his chosen, which will bring a fundamentally opposite result. Wise parents, seeing the obvious fallacy of choosing their offspring and even some kind of danger, will focus on the undoubted merits of their native creature. In the future, the teenager can independently understand that his beliefs and life principles have nothing to do with the worldview of the fan that appeared.

Watch a video about teenage love:

Almost every person attended love in adolescence. This is such a period of life when you want to be an adult and independent, independent, do what I want. That is why, against the background of youth ambitions and there are a number of difficulties, mistakes and disappointments.

The first love in adolescence is, of course, a squall of emotions. Boys and girls become the most vulnerable, wounded, although they try to endure a solid indifference to the surface. This is a kind of first step in adulthood, but rarely who, making it, does not stumble. The thing is that together with the independence of teenagers face something unknown, new. It is at this age that love comes, the cleanest and sincere, when neither prosperity nor other values \u200b\u200bare made to the first places. Surely in this period of life and the saying was invented: "With Milic and Paradise in the Chaolash."

In each person from an early age, the concept of love is laid. It is this feeling that his parents, grandparents surround him. But when a person matures, he becomes little of these feelings, I want some individual love that will be donated only to him, and of course will be replied. And very good if love is mutual, and if not? In addition, as you know, very rarely the first love is happy, usually it is solid disappointment, tears in the pillow and so on. In this case, parents should prepare their child.

Not a teacher, not older friends, but Dad and Mom. Do not forget to adults that in adolescence and they fell in love, and they were hard, and they were no longer children. Therefore, the earlier parents spend a conversation with their children, will be better. Because this feeling appears in all differently, and it is impossible to predict the exact date of his arrival. Mom and dad should be talking to your child on an equal footing, as if with an adult man. It was then that their words will be perceived by the teenager correctly, and not in the bayonets. After all, you should not forget that at this time the morals will have a mirror reflection.

Frustration in the first love can develop a number of complexes with whom he can fight all his life. Therefore, the debt of parents is to save, prepare it for entry into a new, adult life. After all, those games that will appear in front of him are not at all like the previous ones.

During this period of time, physiological changes in the body of girls and young men occur. They begin to pay attention to the opposite sex, and each of this attraction is manifested in different ways. For boys, for example, sympathy manifests itself in gross form, it can even be said in aggression to the beloved girl. No wonder they twitch the young representatives of the beautiful sex for pigtails, throw papers in them, put lizards and frogs. This is a peculiar manifestation of sympathy, although the girls are unlikely to understand its value to the end.

But they like any attention, but those who did not get the flow of rursing, feel offended and try to draw attention to the boys to themselves in any way. Teens feel mutual sympathy and try to spend more time with each other. So at first a friendship is born, and then love. Moms and Pope are often trying to withstand such a relationship, protecting their child, allegedly extending their childhood. But this does not need to do this.

The experience of communication of boys and girls is obligatory, and if we exclude or extinguish your child from such a relationship, it can badly affect the future. After all, we are at that age at all about sexual relationships. Rather, on the contrary, there are feelings of tenderness, care, trepacy. These qualities just need to develop in adolescents. Love in high schools can be called an epidemic, because as soon as one pair appears, another one immediately appears, it is third and so on. As if no one wants to fall behind the team, but at the same time not to lose its independence and independence. Triangles are very often observed, and even quadrangles of relations. And, of course, at this time, children need advice of adults, their help and support.

IN modern world Relationship between adolescents is much democratic and frank. But, nevertheless, the timidity of first feelings is experiencing each. How to render notes? How to approach? How to kiss? A series of questions is built in the subconscious of the teenager. And the sooner he will give the answer to them, the easier it will come in adult life.

No matter how hard the parents tried to protect their children from mistakes, the experience of disappointments is inevitable. Teens must "fill themselves a bump", and then correct the situation. It is necessary to give a chance to make a decision to make a decision and in no case impose your opinion.

I would like to affect this topic specifically for teenage girls. After all, at this age, young girls make such serious mistakes that can entail huge troubles. Up to the fact that they will correct their mistake until the end of life.
In our century, probably all children are still in primary school Know what sex is. At approximately 12 years old, girls have already begun. (Everyone, of course, in different ways; depends on development.) At the age of 12-14 years, many girls and boys start sex life. Guys begin, mainly due to pressure from peers. His friends expect sexual adventures from the young man. And the guys, as a result, put on the girl, persuading, forcing her to sex. Often, even threatening the rupture. Of course, it is stupid to explain modern youth that sex is harmful at an early age (especially, consequences), as well as it is stupid to clarify that cigarettes and alcohol make tremendous damage to our body. I just want to put young girls on the right way so that they do not make mistakes that I can crush all their lives. To be extra and unnecessary sexual ties at their age, as little as possible.

You probably think: "Why should I wait? All do it! Why should I give up this pleasure? " Of course, the solution depends entirely on you. But I would like to start a conversation with some things.
1. You must decide in advanceWhen and with whom you start a sex life, so that this is a meaningful solution. And not at the moment when everything goes to this, and you are not able to reason.
2. Sex does not give birth love. As I said, you have sex you will never achieve love. Therefore, if you hurry with him, and then you will break your boyfriend, then you will feel humiliated, devastated. As a result, you will regret the deed.
3. In life, this is the most "first time" only once. You must get the first sexual experience with a person you love. Especially, that the first experience will leave a trace of memories on the next. And if only negative emotions remain, you may have disgust for sex.
4. Be sure to remember consequences . If you think yourself is quite an adult for sex, then it should take an adult to this, i.e. With full responsibility. Always rely only on yourself, and not on a partner. We are all, people, and everyone can bring, without wanting. Therefore, first of all, hope for yourself. Remember the possible pregnancy, venereal diseases and AIDS.

Never Do not start sex if the reasons for this is:
-All your friends live sex life;
- You think that you are already too many years old, and ashamed at such age to remain a virgin;
-The guy will throw you if you don't give it up;
-Twow best friend Says that sex is great.
These reasons can not be called serious. Sex is the highest degree of expression of love, confidence of two people, and treat it seriously.

Often, teenage girls mistakenly think that every sexual intercourse is an orgasm. Most girls have first sexual experience accompanied by painful sensations. Yes, and the orgasm is difficult to get, for this, many are required years.
Remember that sex is far from the main thing in the relationship. If the ability to kiss - this is all, because of what you are together, then this is already to the crash. Girls in adolescence very emotionally belong to sex, rather than guys. It happens that it seems to be ready for sex, but still you regret what I did. You start to be afraid that he will now demand sex constantly, will use you, or will throw you at all. You cry, worry, worry ... Feel the dependence on it. As if he took part of you. It's all - moral unaware of sex. Not to mention physical negotiation. Therefore, you will definitely be killed in your partner, that he will not leave you. So that you are confident in it 100%.
If you have decided not to hurry, then try to stay with him alone so that it does not reach it. After all, if the guy is excited, it is very difficult to stop it. Do not allow him too much if not ready to go to the end.

The difference between a girl and a guy.
In guys in the sexual ripening of 70% of sexual attraction to the girl, and only 30% of some feelings in relation to it. Girls are the same way around: 70% of love, emotions, desires of tenderness and care, and maybe 30% of sexual attraction. There are exceptions that girls have more sex, but it already depends on the education in the family. In general, this is not considered the norm.
There is a lot of cases when the girl, absorbed by the "love" of his boyfriend, is ready to do everything for him, including to jump into the bed at his request. Most often, these guys are the so-called "princes". A very pretty stylish young man who runs the lighter girl. He moves them very carefully. Each must pass "test." It must be pretty, stylish, cool, and, of course, "give". I do not respect such guys at all. They believe that these girls should seek them, do absolutely everything, for the conquest. They put girls below themselves. But, I think that each of those young people sooner or later fall in love with real, and then they will be in the cappon of love. J.
Using the vulnerability of lovers, many young men, not even those "Favorite handsome" use several fraudulent ways to achieve their own.
1. Empty promises.
Probably, this method is most of all in demand in guys. After all, lure a stupid love girl in a "trap" so easy! She and so in the head of the dream of a bright future, and if you still add paints to her imagination - so she will lose completely mind. Boys are beginning to pusk the girl's brains, promise "Golden Mountains", talk about what a wonderful future is waiting for them. Swing in eternal love, stating that sex will only strengthen their feelings. It will also end and broken with dreams, and a broken heart.
Conclusion: the relationship is destroyed in any case, only if you spend you - it will be much more difficult for you when parting. Because Sex will give it not him to you, but you have to him. You will think: "How so, we had for so much close relationship, and then everything is over?". The gap will be more painful, believe. After all, for a guy sex, especially at that age, when they have a main goal - to satisfy their sexual needs, practically nothing means compared to what sex for the girl means. Especially first! Of course, there are rare exceptions when sex for a guy is something else, but the fact of the matter is that rare.

2. Threat gap.
The most common way of tiping a girl, however, rough. The guys threaten her with a break, they say "if you don't give me to me, then we will part." Desperate girl, frightened the gap, peacefully agrees for sex. She thinks that it will keep him, her young man will stay with her, and they will all be like in a fairy tale. All would be good, but it was not there. How many guy do not let, everything is not enough for him. Give it in this, will ask more. These are our boys.
Conclusion: remember, you have sex you will never hold the guy. Even if you succeed, believe me, it will not be a relationship. He will use you and see only a sex object in you. Think, do you deserve this? I believe that every girl deserves of real love, care, caress, tenderness. And not such a relationship when you depend on sex. Therefore, I myself make a conclusion about what will happen then after your submission. You will have to obey him constantly. Or he will tell you "Goodbye". This is not love. Here even she does not smell.

3. Condition.
This approach also puts girls to a dead end. What to do a girl when he, your favorite, says: "If you love me, then prove it to me." Here the girls are lost: "How so? I love him! Why not prove it to my boy? " And again, again make a gross mistake. The girl should prove love with tenderness, care, attention, but not sex !!! Sex will prove your ability, sorry, girls on Leningradka. But not a favorite girl.
Conclusion: Such conditions also do not speak about great love. But, of course, it is not necessary to part immediately. You can explain that you love him, and let him know much about it than (can be listed, see above). But you are not ready for sex.

4. PERSONS.
This, in my opinion, the most banal way to achieve sex. The guy persuades her, they say, so so: "Let's do it with you. You will like it, here you will see! I love you, I will careful, I will not hurt you. Each girl is doing this, what is the shame? This is normal, "etc. Thus, pushes it to this step, inspiring the girl that it is quite normal.
Conclusion: Of course, it is not so scary, and there is nothing at least in this if your age is consistent with the standards. And if you do not even have 16, then by this step you should come true very responsibly. Be sure to think about 10 times before you taste the forbidden fruit. If you did not have sexual experience, the first time you will hurt, as in the next few times (most often it happens). And at that moment there should be a caring person next to you, which will support you, will be gentle and affectionate.

Outcome.
Dear girl!
If a young man really loves you, he will never set you the conditions, persuade, insist and put pressure on you. A loving boy will say something like this: "I love you, and I will wait for so much time as you need." If you already feel something suspicious in his words - it is better not to rumble. Wait, check his feelings. After all, if he wants sex from you, he is unlikely to wait for this for months. Moreover, if this is such a person in your city, to whom everyone is hanging on the neck. So trust, but check! ;) Perhaps his persuasions, threats, etc. are explained by his age, experience with girls, intelligence. In this case, you can not keep evil on him, he is still a little silly boy J, what to take from him. Then explain everything to him, and do not try to agree on children's whims.
If he has not been a baby for a long time, and made the condition (or began to insist), then explain this: "Cute, I love you, but not ready for me so serious for me. You must understand me, and respect my wishes. I believe that if you love me, you will wait as much as I need time. And you will not put pressure on me, constantly reminding me of this. " If this belief did not affect him, then this is clearly not the person who will always be ready to go with you in life, and which will support you. Not the one who will love you. Do you need so much? Of course, you can decide, but it is unlikely to lead to good. Do not try to make such a serious mistake, and go on the guy and his persuasion. After all, when you have a real, loving young man, you will greatly regret that he is not the first.
I will write a few phrases for the failure of sex:
-I hate when they are forced to do something.
- I do not feel ready for it.
- I think that it is not good enough for you.
-No, until the question of protection is decided.
-Not. And do not make me think that you will leave me if I refuse.

Alcohol and sex.
These two concepts are very closely connected. About a quarter of adolescents argue that the impact of alcohol or drugs at least once influenced their decision to have sex. It follows from this that alcohol is a considerable sex provocateur. Therefore, always be careful after excess drunk. Alcohol gives self-confidence, incites the fire of desires, with what false, but dull feelings. And you practically won't get pleasure from sex. In addition, in the morning, when you come to my senses, you can very much about the deed.
Now, almost in all companies, and girls, and guys are sitting with beer, with a cigarette. I'm not talking about the dangers of alcohol and tobacco. So after all, there are often drinking from the fact that the guy with the girl remained alone, and happens, about which the next morning is most often they regret. In addition, in this state, both forget about the methods of contraception. And the result? Unwanted pregnancy, Venestic diseases, including AIDS, HIV. As a result, pain, tears. The whole life is fermented. And all because of what? Due to the fact that they approached this irresponsibly, and not in a sober state.

Pregnancy.
As you know, during sex there is an opportunity to get pregnant. This chance is not so significant, but will have a huge subsequent. Doctors will allocate the 5 most "dangerous" days in a month, which is very large for the likelihood of becoming pregnant. Most often - this is the 14th day after the last menstruation.
If you do not even have 16, and you decided to give birth, then your life can be, literally, is spoiled. It hurts you as morally and physically, because you and your body is not ready for such a phenomenon. In addition, now you study, you still have a child. You need to receive education now, energize school, go to the institute, later get started at work. And instead, you will sit at home, nurse the child, while your friends will walk on discos, relax, walking. Your youth will be destroyed. A pregnancy interrupt can lead to infertility. Almost in 16% of cases, the cause of infertility is it. In addition, you will experience moral experiences (even in the case of abortion), which often lead to depressions. If you decide to take an abortion, be sure to discuss it with your parents! In no case do not take abortion illegally and at home !!! It is dangerous for your life!
Signs of pregnancy.
- Reception of menstruation.
-Drowsiness.
- Creating to tobacco smoke / earlier favorite spirits.
-Aspened urination.
- Oschnost and vomiting in the morning.
- Enlargement of the mammary glands.
At the first signs of pregnancy - be sure to see a doctor.

Know that all this can be avoided by using contraception. Therefore, never neglect her.

Venereal diseases.
No pills will save you from the disease of venereal diseases. Only, if you refuse sexual relations with people in which I am not sure. It also helps a condom, but not 100%. But among the venereal diseases there are incurable diseases, such as HIV and AIDS.
In AIDS infected by AIDS, children will already be sick, besides, you can infect others. HIV - human immunodeficiency virus, which causes AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome) - severe disease characterized by a strong damage to the human immune system, the addition of secondary (opportunistic) infections, the formation of tumors or progressive defeat of the central nervous system. HIV infections are currently not cured completely. Due to the fact that the main path of transmission of sex infection, the preventive methods are primarily in full failure of sexual contacts with partners in which you are not sure. Also be sure to use a condom. If the guy is infected, then you will get infected even if it did not have seeds. This is explained by the fact that during intercourse on both genitals micro-cracks, through which the virus is transmitted.
Do not deceive yourself, thoughts that it will not happen to you. It can happen with each, including with you. Therefore, always remember the possibility of infection, and try to prevent them.

Contraception.
There are many types of contraception. I will write about some.
Condom. In adolescence, he will be most suitable for you. It protects against pregnancy, from venereal diseases, and from AIDS. It is very easy to purchase: in the store or in a pharmacy. But it is better to buy in a pharmacy.
Pills. They are used for 3 weeks every day. Then they take a break for 7 days (during menstruation). They are easy to use, but at your age they are not very suitable. Tablets are more suitable for married women, or girls who have regular sex life with 1 partner. In addition, they will not protect you from sexually transmitted infections, and from AIDS. Popular ones - regular, new.
Interrupted sexual intercourse. This is the most unreliable way of protection. After all, the cum may be allocated in small quantities before seeds. Because of this method of pregnancy pregnancy, hundreds of adolescent girls will be pregnant every year. Never rely on this method.
Tablets "The Next Morning". 2 tablets are used in 2 receptions after sexual intercourse for 72 hours. This method of contraception cannot be used regularly. This is a kind of ambulance. Popular - Postinor. True, in adolescence, they are contraindicated.
Calendar method. This method is built on certain safe days of the month, when the probability of pregnancy is very small. But also take into account the fact that in adolescence menstrual cycle has not yet been established. Therefore, he will suit you later.

A few words in conclusion.
Pretty girl, sincerely advise you after all, not to hurry with it. Many girls spare early sexual relations. Remember that next to you must have a person who is ready to go with you "side by side" to the very end. You must be sure that he will not quit, if suddenly finds out that you are pregnant.
Remember some things at which sex life is better not to start:
-You meet quite recently.
- You are not sure about it, as in a person who will be ready to take responsibility for what is happening.
- You are not sure about the absence of venereal diseases.
- You are not morally ready, or you have at least some doubts in order to start a sex life.
-There do not even 14.